…that will likely teach me nothing.
This past Sunday I didn’t do much. I went to a soccer game. I read and watched a (truly odd) movie by myself from my favorite corner of the couch. I only got about five thousand steps, and I only know that because I opened my app to look right before typing this sentence. We ordered Chipotle for dinner, and got the worst versions of our orders, which ended up being so funny I didn’t even care very much.
I did do some laundry. Even lazy days require laundry.
I felt guilty about it at different points during the day. Maybe it was after waking up from a nap, but I’m not sure I took one of those. I probably did. Seriously. It was one of the laziest days I’ve had in a long time. The guilt came from both having things I needed to do and having things I wanted to do and wasn’t doing.
At one point, I noted that I should write about it, but I’m not sure exactly what direction the original note meant for me to take with this little post. I’m not sure, because I’m sitting down to write this, not on Monday, but on Friday, a day much closer to this Sunday than the past Sunday. The week, as they sometimes do, got away from me in regards to having too many things I wanted to accomplish in too few free hours.
I vaguely remember wanting to write about the guilt but also the healing nature of spending a day doing frivolous things, and I also vaguely remember feeling a little sad that frivolous doesn’t mean indulgent right now but just resting. Then it took me days to write it, and the flash of insight left, leaving only a smudge of insight on my brain.
What I should learn is a lazy day shouldn’t induce guilty, especially when surrounded by not-at-all-lazy days, days spent moving and chatting with friends and worrying and celebrating and finally wearing sunglasses because of actual sun and not just my overly-sensitive eyes. Everyone deserves recharging.
The truth is, I likely won’t learn that lesson. I will be more likely to feel the guilt creep in the next time I take a lazy Sunday, but I’d like to think I’ll learn it eventually.
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