early

I woke up too early today. After a restless night of sleep, and the daily feeding of Max that takes place at around 5:00 a.m., I couldn’t fall back asleep. I wish the cat’s breakfast time was a little later, but summer hours mean I can normally eke out a couple more hours of sleep. Today, however, I couldn’t manage to keep my eyes closed.

I made coffee and played my puzzle games (they help keep my brain strong, right?) and wasted a little time. During the school year, I would have used the time to work out or do something productive, but I basically languished on the couch like I was in a drawing room on a fainting couch, only I don’t have embroidery to accompany me.

I don’t expect either of the boys to wake up early today, since they were both up late. It’s possible that by the time either of them ventures down here, I will be ready for a nap, which seems silly. Summer months, when you work at a school, feel dreamlike some days. I guess this is one of those days.

I have a checklist to check, and I’ll do that eventually, but for now I’m relishing the overcast morning, the warm coffee, the soft, lyrics-free, playlist providing background for my still-tired brain. I wonder, for longer than I expected, why that tiredness doesn’t translate to sleep. Generally, I wouldn’t consider myself any sort of insomniac at all. I don’t always need a ton of sleep, but I generally see that as a choice, as I still need to set alarms in the morning.

If I do nap, I need to do it early enough that it doesn’t shift my sleep cycle too badly, because I’ve worked hard to move to an earlier-than-normal bedtime, at least for me. Now I’m rambling, which isn’t a surprise, because (like I mentioned), my brain still feels tired.

Tomorrow, I hope I can piece together a more thorough night of rest. I know from experience that this early of an involuntary wakeup will lead to extra hunger and possibly anxiety and all of the things I’m working to alleviate in my life. For now, I will drink my coffee and talk myself into a workout. Soon.