lull

Going back to work after a long weekend, knowing you have a shortened week, should feel simple. Yet, the kids and I were all dragging today, quiet and struggling to stay focused. I paged through my calendar more times than I needed, making sure I wasn’t missing obligations for the day or the coming weekend. Thankfully, our commitments aren’t too great for the next several days.

I texted my mom a list of our upcoming travel plans and commitments, and I realized this quiet few days are a lull before a flurry of activity. Shows and school trips. Travel for dance. Karate demo presentations. Starting a new activity and working in additional hours for things we’re already doing. Family travel. A trip for just Ryan and me. All sorts of things piling together in a jumble of fun and financial whirlwinds and probably exhaustion.

I’m tempted to crash diet and buckle down hard, setting a finish line for something that seems more like punishment than wellness. In the past, I would definitely try that, sometimes succeeding, sometimes failing, always feeling more stressed than I probably needed to feel in the moment. I’m trying to operate with more grace this time. Move more, feel better, eat with the intention of fueling. My shoulders are aching, whether from how I sleep or the giant bag I carry, and I know strength training will help, if I can talk myself into it.

I finished a book I loved (Song of Achilles), making it the second one of the year I’ve really been excited about. The thing with reading comfort books is they don’t come with the thrill of something new and thought-provoking. And sometimes I want the mind-numbing, but after finishing this one, I realized one of my goals for the year (create. anything. just create) doesn’t happen when my mind is numb.

Maybe I’ve been in a longer lull than I thought, and I hope I’m able to climb out of it a few creative moments at a time.