tired

Lately, I’m tired all the time. More tired than normal, I mean, which is pretty tired. For years I’ve been maximizing my awake hours, which meant getting by on 5-6 hours of sleep — on a good night of sleep. I got up as early as I could, worked out, powered through with coffee and Diet Coke and kept going until bedtime.

I can’t do that right now.

I take little cat naps on the couch, tuck shorter workouts into my morning (which isn’t helping my fitness goals), go up to bed by 11:00 even if I don’t fall asleep until a little later. Still, my body craves more sleep.

I don’t think it’s a matter of depression or anything mental. I’m not feeling additional stress or overarching worry or anything like that. Even on days when I’m the happiest, I’m still tired.

My annual physical wasn’t that long ago, and my bloodwork is decent, though I’m always chasing better numbers. I don’t want to think it’s age or perimenopause, but maybe that’s it. I don’t love it. I’ve always enjoyed the feeling of being in control of that aspect of my life. I could function, fairly well I thought, with the amount of sleep I fit into my days and not the other way around. Now I find myself looking at different ways to get the things I want done without waking up long before 5:00 a.m.

I’m not sure why I’m sharing this. It’s self-indulgent, for sure. I never thought I’d miss that heady rush of caffeine powering me through the day, but now it’s just a way to stay warm and a little alert before feeling tired again. Adjusting to this new additional sleep need is tough.

I’ll do better figuring it out after a nap.