I walked into the garage the other day and found this apple on the ground, next to the shop vac and other things I don’t recognize. A single bite — and some additional teeth marks — marred the surface, but it was clearly abandoned.
Without asking, I can imagine which of my kids grabbed an apple on the way out the door, took a bite, then got distracted — or simply changed their mind.
I don’t love the wasted apple, though I’m sure the deer won’t leave it wasted for long. I’ve thought about it more than necessary the last few days, the concept of walking away from something that just doesn’t work for you in the moment.
While I don’t want the kids to make a habit of taking a bite of food, then leaving it to rot in the garage (just bring it inside! I’m not opposed to slicing off the bitten section and dipping the rest in peanut butter!) I admire the way they can leave behind certain things.
Personally, I have a hard time letting go. (Not of stuff. I can purge belongings with ruthless efficiency when I’m in the mood.) I have difficulty letting go of commitments and obligations. I still say yes when I should say no, both when I want to say no and when I want to say yes but know I’m stretched too thin. I say yes anyway.
The things I hold onto crowd my thoughts and my hours. I understand logically that I need to shed some of those yeses to make room for ones that matter, ones that feel like dreams some days because I close my eyes before finding time for them. My brain knows, but my heart is slower to learn.
Maybe one day I, too, will be able to set aside an apple I don’t need or want for something I truly do.
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